這個月是到柬埔寨實習的第五個月，這五個月來，我喜歡每天醒來後，橙黃色的晨光從窗簾隙縫灑落在臉上的溫暖感受，也喜歡聽著窗外準備出門上班的人們騎著擋車的引擎聲（雖然是引擎聲，但我真心不覺得吵雜）更喜歡看柬埔寨人因為早上習慣洗澡，出門上班每個人頭髮還濕漉漉的樣子，讓人感覺也一起沖了澡，很有精神。

每天只要感覺到這些觸覺、聽覺、視覺的感受，代表又是一個能到園區與同事、村落孩子們相處的新日子，總是令人充滿期待。

時間過得很快，記得當時初來乍到，的確也像現在對於新的一天感到期待，但存在更多的是焦慮感。因為是第一次到柬埔寨，對於所有關於這裡的一切我幾乎一無所知，濃厚的陌生感讓我每天早晨總在緊張該怎麼樣去了解這裡，深怕今日因為沒有用盡全力的觀察，就會浪費一天對柬埔寨更認識的機會。而到了晚上，那些焦慮的感覺也沒有消失，會開始自動反省今天的自己為什麼沒有多問一點問題，陷入一個不太健康的循環。

但現在回想起那段日子，那時候真的不需要過度責怪自己為什麼沒有努力問問題，反而慶幸那時的自己並沒有問太多問題，畢竟初來乍到，問題沒有問好，不夠了解當地文化而問錯問題，反而會造成當地的不舒服，失去貼近、認識當地的機會。當時我要學習的課題應該是如何和「當地一起生活」。

到底什麼叫「與當地一起生活」？

來柬埔寨前，我聽過不少人這樣子建議外國人融入當地的想法，但實際到這裡，那時縱然知道要嘗試融入，還是會不知道怎麼開始。是要去問他們有關於他們國家文化的事情當作話題嗎？可是我對這裡了解還不夠深，不知道怎麼開始提問。還是我應該請他們教我柬文？但他們在上班時間，好像不方便打擾，沒有一個明確的目標告訴我可以怎麼開始。

可是，我真的很幸運，一開始不知所措的時候，身邊的同事、學生卻比我還主動的帶我「一起生活」，同事們問我要不要吃吃看她最愛的「芒果沾辣椒」、要不要一起去村落「做家訪」，學生們用著我聽不懂的語言找我和他們一起玩他們的「傳統遊戲」。

漸漸地發現，其實就只是自己窮緊張罷了，「一起生活」簡單來說就是當地做什麼，你也一起做，這就是跨出融入的第一步。即使有時候發現自己因為不是當地人，能幫忙做的事情很有限，會有一點挫折感，但至少已經啟動了「一起生活」的齒輪，當齒輪開始運行，彼此就能因為有了互動而產生話題，有了話題，就更有機會對彼此有更多的認識與了解。所有一切都能因為「一起生活」而自然發生。

回想起這五個月，與當地一起經歷的各種瑣細回憶。

與同事們，從起初由分享食物來表示友善，到現在上班變得能夠用彼此母語穿插在各種玩笑對談中；而與協會資助的孩子們，則是從一開始走向他們，彼此都帶著幾分尷尬、緊張，到現在五個月的時間，甚至會有孩子主動來找我講話。時間的推移，共同生活的經歷彼此交織、串起，成了現在自在分享生活、文化、交流的相處狀態，人生能有一段時間，去真實與一個國家的人、事、物相處，何其幸運？

最後一個月的實習生活，心中種下了不願與柬埔寨因為實習生活接近尾端而斷掉連結的期許，實習生活，只是與柬埔寨串起連結的第一步，與柬埔寨的連結，我深信因為曾經一起生活，所以一切仍未完待續。

This month marks my fifth month of internship in Cambodia. During these five months, I enjoyed the warm feeling of orange sunlight hitting my face from the gaps of curtains after waking up every day.

I also enjoyed listening to the sound of car engines from the people who are going to work outside my window (although it is the sound of engine, I don't feel it is noisy).

I especially liked watching Cambodians who still go out to work with their hair still wet from their habit of showering in the morning. When I see their hair like that, it makes me feel like I also need a shower to be energetic.

As I feel these tactile, auditory, and visual sensations every day, it reminds me that a new day has arrived again and that I can be with my colleagues and the children from the village who are always full of expectations.

Time passed very quickly. I still remember that in the beginning when I came here, I also looked forward to the arrival of a new day, but it was filled with anxiety at the time.

Since this is my first time to Cambodia, I knew almost nothing here.

The strong sense of strangeness made me nervous every morning and I wondered about how to know more about this country. I was afraid that if I don’t try my best to observe every day, I would be wasting my time here. Even during nighttime, those feelings of anxiety did not disappear. My anxiety made me fall into a terrible cycle of reflecting on why I didn't ask more questions during the day which led me to feel more anxiety.

But now when I recall to those days, I really shouldn’t have blamed myself too much for not asking questions to others at the time. I was glad that I didn’t ask too many questions because I had just arrived here and asking questions which were not suitable will cause local discomfort which will cause me to lose the opportunity to get close with the locals and get to know the area.

At that time, the lesson I needed to learn was how to live with the local community.

What exactly is "living with the local"?

Before I came to Cambodia, I heard many people suggested that foreigners should integrate into the local area. However, even if I knew that I would try to integrate, I still didn’t know how to start. Do I need to ask them something about their national culture? But I don't understand enough about it and I don't know how to start asking questions. Should I ask them to teach me Cambodian? But people needed to work and it seemed inconvenient to bother them. There is no clear instruction in telling me how to start "living with the local".

Thankfully, I was really lucky. When I didn’t know what should I do at first, my colleagues and students around me took the initiative to teach me how to start "living with the local". My colleagues asked me if I would like to eat her favorite "mango dip chilli", or go on "home visits" to the village together. The students asked me to play their "traditional game" with them in their language which I didn't understand.

Gradually I found out that I’m too nervous. "living with the local" is what the locals do, and you do it together. This is the first step in integration. Even if I sometimes find myself limited in what I can do because I’m not a local, at least I’ve the “living together” mindset. With this mindset, I was able to interact with them and have more topics to talk about. With relatable topics, you have a better chance to know and understand each other more. Everything can happen naturally because of "living with the local together."

I always think of all the memories I had experienced with the locals in these past five months.

With my colleagues, we started developing our friendship by sharing our food. Now, when we are working, we can chat with each other and make various joke in each other's mother tongue. In the beginning when I approached them, the atmosphere always seemed to be filled with a little embarrassment and nervousness. After five months, some of these same children are confident in approaching me. As time goes on, the experiences of living together are intertwined and strung together. It has become a state of coexistence to let us share our life, culture, and communication. Am i so lucky that I can live with everything in one country for a while?

In the last month of internship, I set a desire of not breaking my connection with Cambodia even though the internship was nearing its end. This internship is just my first step in connecting with Cambodia. And I believed that we lived together and it still to be continued.

雖然在課堂上主要以沉浸式教學為主，但偶爾如果使用一、兩句柬文，孩子們也會感受到特別親切，課後的時間，偶爾他們也會扮演我的柬文老師教我一些柬文，或者拉著我要我教他們中文字。很喜歡嘗試了解彼此的文化的我們。


許多的行為都需要建立足夠的關係，才能讓彼此感到舒服、自然，記得一開始到柬埔寨，我實在不敢貿然拿起手機向孩子們拍攝，現在經歷五個多月時間的相處，彼此都很習慣彼此的存在，拍照的過程非常自然。


這五個月每個月的社區服務，總會一起和資助童以及工作夥伴一起搬運米糧，大家一起合力完成社區服務的感覺真的很好。


在協會的社區服務中，不只大孩子們要學習如何一起完成社區服務，小小孩子也要學習在社區服務當中一起幫忙。


很喜歡在社區服務的過程看孩子們每個月畫得圖畫，可以更了解當地的生活以及孩子們的日常。


在村落的孩子們，從一開始一句中文都不會說，經過五個月的相處，孩子們常常拉著我的手，問我他們看到的各種東西中文怎麼說，也常拉著我用中文告訴我:「我喜歡台灣。」