十月份，實習的課題就是「練習增加自己的彈性」。

自己的做事方法常態是「想像」可能發生的問題，然後「思考」解決方法，最後「期待」一切順利（最好不要有突發狀況）。

因為了解自己對於危機處理能力不容易做到最好，但又不喜歡沒把事情做好的感覺，所以總是習慣做好準備才安心上場。

但十月份的挑戰就是將我步步推向「誠實面對害怕處理緊急狀況的自己」。

一切從市區中文班招生說起，還沒招生前，老早就備好至少兩堂課的教案，而且在備課的過程光是想像課堂實際情況，嘴角就時不時上揚，好期待自己和學生一起享受在課堂的時光。

但...隨著招生截止日越來越近，仍然沒有任何學生來報名，有學生可以教好像變成一件很奢侈的夢想。

忐忑的心情沒有停止過，忍不住開始思考為什麼在市區招生會這麼的困難重重？

逐步的思考問題根源，恍然大悟自己六個月的實習時間，真的太短、太短了……

柬埔寨不久前經歷的紅色高棉政權，讓教育資源在短時間內受到嚴重破壞，結束那段知識份子被嚴重迫害的日子，許多國外NGO團隊開始進駐，希望協助柬埔寨一同重建教育資源，因此在暹粒「市區」，可以看到來自不同國家開設的國際學校、補習班或是各國NGO與在地寺廟設立的免費語言課程。

在無論是付費資源、免費資源都相當充足的狀況下，想要長期培養語言能力的人，很難會選擇來上這種短期的語言課程。所以即使學費定價少於市價許多，還是招不到學生。

這次的招生計劃，一開始在想像問題的階段，就沒有料到會有招生失利的事件發生，只是單方面抱持覺得自己課程很用心，別人就一定會來報名的心態。現在看來，不夠認識環境，就急著想要他人順著自己的規劃走，似乎有點太自以為是。

有了此次的經驗，察覺到了自己的渺小，那些衝擊的感受讓我措手不及……但卻產生了更多好奇心在這塊土地，一點也沒有想逃避。

接下來的時間，雖然村落的中文班以及柬籍同仁的中文班成功開始了，但我想一定還會有許多突發驚喜會發生。

好好學習「面對」這些因為環境、文化不同產生的臨時狀況，不要想要掌控所有事情，與其想要掌控、改變，不如花更多心力去多認識這裡，然後給自己更多彈性空間，找出真正適合在這裡的生活、做事步調。

This October, my internship taught me the true meaning of being “Flexible”. In the past, when planning or carrying out a task, I would normally make a S.O.P to imagine what kind of potential problems I may encounter and think of a solution to those problems in order for my task to proceed smoothly. This is because I know I am not good at handling sudden changes in my plans and I dislike the feeling of being helpless in handling these changes. Therefore, I like to be prepared and ready when encountering these problems. However, this October challenged me to face my fear of my inability to adapt to urgent situations.

It all started with the city Chinese class enrollment. Before the enrollment, I was expected to have lesson plans for two classes prepared and to think of the conditions of the students in the classes. As the days passed, I cannot hide the smile on my face as my excitement to meet and spend time with the students grew. Unfortunately, as the enrollment deadline drew closer, there were still no students willing to enroll in the classes. My wish of teaching some students appeared to be nothing but a dream.

This problem greatly affected my mood and I could not help but to wonder　why is it so hard to find students in the city. I started to think about the root cause of this problem and realized that my six-month internship is way too short for me to complete anything.

Half a century ago, Cambodia went through the Khmer Rouge and the regime greatly damaged the country’s education system by persecuting intellectuals. After the regime, many NGO groups came to Cambodia with the intention and hope to rebuild their education system. As a result, there are many international schools, cram schools, and free lessons provided by NGO and temples in urban cities such as Siem Reap.

Due to these inexpensive schools and learning resources, it is very unlikely for potential students who wish to improve their language skills long term sign up for any of my classes. Even if I lower my tuition fee, I will still not be able to find enough students.

In the beginning of my enrollment plan, when I was planning for potential problems, I was too inexperienced and could not foresee the issue of not being able to gather students for my class. I thought that as long as I have a good lesson plan, I will be able to attract students to take my class. Upon reflection, I realized I did not understand the environment and I was too self-righteous to believe that people will always follow my plans.

After this experience, I realized how small I am. This experience definitely caught me by surprise. However, despite encountering this set back, it also made me development a curiosity into studying this land. I did not wish to leave here at all.

Although the student and staff enrollments in the villages are successful, I think there will be other surprises waiting to happen in the future. Only by learning to face these unexpected problems caused by cultural and environmental differences and not wanting to control everything without knowing the full picture will you be able to find what is suitable for the pace of life here.